so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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