I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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