I skipped work to stalk him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
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You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?