Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.