Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
