who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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