Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize