i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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