Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
