I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.