am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.