Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
honey bunches of taint.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring