Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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