you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize