Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
