lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
