i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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