i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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