ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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