too bad you live with your parents still
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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