Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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