Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
