Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
