Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
