either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
