Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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