"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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