You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've blown a few things in my day
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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