its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
