I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
