Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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