Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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