Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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