Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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