i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize