What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
