The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.