hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW