I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.