she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house