didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can Purell be used as lube?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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