I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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