lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in