In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I stole a fireplace last night.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.