dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??