I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch