VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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