remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
