You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i dont even know how to be here
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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