Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
