my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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