We're facebook friends in real life
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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