You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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