we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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