once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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