I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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