Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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