strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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