Its about making memories worth repressing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize